Dunk? What Dunk?

By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard of how Xavier’s Jordan Crawford posterized LeBron James during a pickup game at the LeBron James Skills Academy. You’ve probably also heard about how LeBron had Nike officials that immediately confiscated all video evidence of the two-handed throw down. Luckily there were a few renegade videographers in the crowd that captured Crawford’s big moment (video below)

A long-time and frequent camp attendee and pickup game player, Dark Side has performed many similar jaw-dropping feats, only to see the video evidence mysteriously disappear. Unfortunately, video phones were non-existent and camcorders were not nearly as common when Dark Side was in his prime. I am nonetheless hopeful that someone managed to capture one of my many posterizations and am offering a reward (I don’t know let’s say a billion dollars) for anyone who can produce authentic, bona fide video footage of Dark Side:

• Throwing down a double-clutch dunk over Shaquille O’neal;
• Picking off Payton Manning and juking Deion Sanders before taking it to the house;
• Putting Roger Clemmens fastball into the upper deck;
• Dusting Carl Lewis by ten meters in a 100-meter footrace;
• Breaking Gary Payton’s ankles with the patented Dark Side crossover;
• Breaking Lennox Lewis’s jaw with a haymaker;
• Beating Lance Armstrong by five bicycle lengths;
• Striking out Barry Bonds on three straight outside fastballs;
• Bull-rushing and knocking Orlando Pace on his ass; or
• Fly-swatting Vince Carter’s attempted dunk.

Please send a Betamax copy of the video to:
Dark Side
c/o Santa Claus
North Pole

Until then, I’ll have to live vicariously through Jordan Crawford: