The tremors, chills, and stomach cramps are already starting for Dark Side, who can’t believe he has to wait until Thursday night for the NBA Finals to start.  Dark Side’s already begun looking for methadone clinics and AAU leagues to help ween himself off the junk after the the playoffs conclude.  In the mean time, Dark Side offers his NBA Finals predictions:

1. Andrew Bynum fouls out of every game trying to contain Dwight Howard.

2. When Gasol slides down to take Bynum’s place, Howard’s speed, strength and physical post play demands frequent double-teams.  The Magic continue to effectively work the inside-outside game, keeping them in every game of the series.

3. Gasol does his best to pull Howard away from the rim by posting at and looking to pass and shoot from the elbow.  Howard erases Gasol’s inside game.

4. Trevor Ariza’s defense causes people to forget Turkoglu plays for the Magic.

5. Fisher continues to struggle, leading to more minutes for Shannon Brown.

6. Odom’s strength advantage over Lewis shows up on the boards.  Lewis, who pulls Common out to the arc to defend against the triple, attacks the rim more than usual, leading to a healthy number of Dwight Howard dunks.

7. Dwight Howard finally hits the gym and starts working on his shoulders.

8. Sasha Vujacic continues to struggle shooting from anywhere but the corner, but succeeds at being an annoying pest on defense and in life.

9. Kobe is Kobe-esque.

10. Luke Walton attempts, and occasionally succeeds at keeping himself between the player he is defending and the rim.  He continues to look semi-retarded on offense, frequently dribbling the ball off his foot and laying bricks from twelve feet.  He gets no respect when he drives as defenders actually point and laugh at him.  For every five turnovers, he gets an assist from a well-placed entry pass.

11. Ron Artest does something crazy*

Lakers in seven.

*though admittedly not in association with a team participating in the NBA finals.

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